Chapter 8 Synopsis

Connectors Create an Experience Everyone Enjoys

What words would you choose to describe the best communicators who have connected well with you? Entertaining? Energetic? Funny? Maybe if you gave it some time, you could produce a long list of attributes. Now think about the communicators you don’t care for, the ones who were unable to connect with you. If I asked you to describe them using only one word, what would it be? I’m willing to bet that the word would be boring.

Sadly, for many of us, it’s much easier to bore people than to connect with them. But I have some good news: no matter what your current level of skill is in this area, you can make it better. Being interesting can be learned. I know because my personal experience can back it up.

When I began my career as a pastor, my biggest fear was of being “another boring preacher.” After all, as a kid growing up in church, my prayer every Sunday morning went something like this . . .

Now I lay me down to sleep,

The sermon’s long; the subject’s deep.

If he should quit before I wake,

I ask someone, “Give me a shake.”

No communicator, whether delivering a sermon or chatting at a restaurant, wants to be boring. We want to be INTERESTING. Fortunately, we can do that in a number of ways, like taking responsibility for what listeners hear, being visual and telling stories. Often the bottom line when it comes to holding people’s interest and connecting with others is to be the kind of communicator you would like to hear.

Now don’t get me wrong; no one can connect with everybody. It doesn’t matter how hard you work at it. Though I strive to be an effective communicator, I know there are people I leave cold when I talk. That’s okay. But you can be sure that I will do everything in my power to keep them from falling asleep. The longer they stay engaged, the better the chance I have of winning them over. And the better the chance of adding value to them.

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